My Dad has cancer and I feel lost. We know that it is terminal and have been told to get Dad`s affairs in order but it just doesn`t seem real. Dad`s are always there to help you and answer your questions he can`t be going so soon.
My emotions are on a roller coaster, I go from crying to laughing in a matter of seconds. I actually wish I had more time to cry but with 2 kids, a husband, a full time job and Christmas around the corner I don`t have the time. I`m trying not to be a total downer, the kids don`t need to see me like that but it is freaking hard.
Dad was telling me the other night about what he is leaving for Jamie and the kids and I just about snapped! For crap sake he`s not dead yet! I`m not naive, I know his time is limited but damn it let`s get through this freaking Christmas without talking death stuff.
I`ve been asked how I`m doing with knowing this is Dad`s last Christmas and I thought what the hell are you talking about? Who says this is his last Christmas? I`m so tired of talking to people, how`s your dad?, how are you doing? how`s your mom? Well let`s think about it for a minute...................... my dad is dying, I`m hanging on by a thread, and my mom is in disaster mode (keeping everyone happy). I know people are uncomfortable and don`t know what to say and they probably really do honestly want to know but jumping ju
piter shut the hell up!
piter shut the hell up!I tend to be a glass half full kind of person but I am really struggling to keep it that way.
We go to the oncologist this week to get more information and realistically we will probably get more shitty news but my glass half full way will have us getting some good news about the drug I found on the Internet and everything will be just fine!
My wish for Christmas is that my family is together and happy and healthy and that I don`t cry, I`m an ugly crier!
One day at a time!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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