My Dad Has Cancer

My Dad has cancer and I feel lost. We know that it is terminal and have been told to get Dad`s affairs in order but it just doesn`t seem real. Dad`s are always there to help you and answer your questions he can`t be going so soon.

My emotions are on a roller coaster, I go from crying to laughing in a matter of seconds. I actually wish I had more time to cry but with 2 kids, a husband, a full time job and Christmas around the corner I don`t have the time. I`m trying not to be a total downer, the kids don`t need to see me like that but it is freaking hard.

Dad was telling me the other night about what he is leaving for Jamie and the kids and I just about snapped! For crap sake he`s not dead yet! I`m not naive, I know his time is limited but damn it let`s get through this freaking Christmas without talking death stuff.

I`ve been asked how I`m doing with knowing this is Dad`s last Christmas and I thought what the hell are you talking about? Who says this is his last Christmas? I`m so tired of talking to people, how`s your dad?, how are you doing? how`s your mom? Well let`s think about it for a minute...................... my dad is dying, I`m hanging on by a thread, and my mom is in disaster mode (keeping everyone happy). I know people are uncomfortable and don`t know what to say and they probably really do honestly want to know but jumping jupiter shut the hell up!

I tend to be a glass half full kind of person but I am really struggling to keep it that way.

We go to the oncologist this week to get more information and realistically we will probably get more shitty news but my glass half full way will have us getting some good news about the drug I found on the Internet and everything will be just fine!

My wish for Christmas is that my family is together and happy and healthy and that I don`t cry, I`m an ugly crier!

One day at a time!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Life is Busy!

I can`t believe it`s been 3 months since I started my `new`job. I knew that working full time was going to be busy but holy hannah it`s been crazy busy!!!!! The worst part of all is that I am loving it! The kids are doing great in school, only 2 letters home from the teacher for Travis so not that bad, and they are really enjoying the Boys and Girls club plus there is hockey for Travis and ballett for Rebecca. WOW. My job is great for the most part, I`m still learning a lot and making some crazy mistakes but the Drs, Krista and most of the patients make it a fun place to be. I do wish there were a few more hours in the day so I could have some me time but that`s ok, for now. Mom has been helping out by coming in once a week to tidy the house and get the kids laundry done so that it is a major help, I just need to work on getting suppers on the table before 7:pm, but oh well I was never a beautiful, healthy dinner type mom anyways. Anyone have any simple dinner recipes that would work for some fussy kids and a starving husband? I could use a little help in that department.

Well I am off and running, laundry to do, hospitals to visit, trailer to clean and a bed calling my name for an afternoon nap! Good night. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

JOB INTERVIEW 2

I went out and `pounded the pavement`today, I guess it was more of a light pat than an actual pounding (I only handed out 3 resumes) but it was a really good experience. I had an interview right away and it went really well, they told me that they really liked me and that I would be great at the job, and the hours are fantastic but the job is not even close to being what I want. Yesterday was a great job with not so great hours, today was not so great job with great hours! I`m very excited about what tomorrow will bring because 3 is my lucky number! Bring on interview number 3!

JOB INTERVIEW!

I had a job interview today! I`m so very excited! I`m not sure that it is the job for me, only because of the hours (monday-friday 8:30-4:30) but the job itself sounds really interesting. The 2nd round of interviews should be within the next week and I am hoping I get a call back, at least then I would know how I did in my interview.

Until I hear back I am not giving up on my June 26th deadline of finding a job. I will have a job by the 26th!

Wish me luck!

I WILL!

I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY JUNE 26TH 2010.
I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY JUNE 26TH 2010.
I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY JUNE 26TH 2010.
I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY JUNE 26TH 2010.
I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAY JUNE 26TH 2010.
I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAYJUNE 26TH 2010.
I WILL HAVE A JOB BY MY 37TH BIRTHDAY ON SATURDAYJUNE 26TH 2010.

MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.
MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.
MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.
MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.
MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.
MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.
MY PERFECT JOB IS WAITING FOR ME.

I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.
I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.
I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.
I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.
I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.
I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.
I AM STARTING MY PERFECT ADMINISTRATION JOB ON JULY 5TH.

I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.
I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.
I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.
I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.
I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.
I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.
I AM WORKING MONDAY TO THURSDAY.

MY HOURS ARE 9-2.
MY HOURS ARE 9-2.
MY HOURS ARE 9-2.
MY HOURS ARE 9-2.
MY HOURS ARE 9-2.
MY HOURS ARE 9-2.
MY HOURS ARE 9-2.

I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME.
I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME.
I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME.
I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME.
I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME.
I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME.
I AM GOOD AT MY JOB AND IT IS GOOD TO ME!

LAW OF ATTRACTION

Here I am almost 2 months after graduation and still no job, but it`s OK!

I went for a great walk with an amazing friend the other day and she gave me a lot of things to think about. She told me a bit about The Law of Attraction, which I had to look up because I had never heard of it before! So for those of you who are like me and want to know what it is I`ll give you a quick run down as I understand it. I guess it is kind of like positive thinking and how if you think positive things, positive things will happen to you, very Karma`ish.

1. Identify and be clear about what you want.
2. Expect that the Universe/God/Spirit answers you.
3. Allow and be grateful AS IF you have already received what you want.
(I googled Law of Attraction and this is what I got)

I really do believe! My only problem right now is identifying what I want specifically. I know that I want a job in a nice, upbeat, friendly office; I know that I want to work Monday to Friday; and from there I`m sort of at a loss. More specifically I want to work Monday to Thursday 9-2 with every second Monday off, in what kind of office I have no idea. I`m not too sure how specific I need to be to get what I want and deserve so I guess I`m hoping that the rest will just happen! No I am not hoping, I know that it will happen. I will get a great job in a wonderful office with perfect hours because I want it and deserve it!

Thank-you so very much Rebecca, I really appreciate your confidence in me!

With each step I take I am moving closer to the career that I want and deserve! Thank-you!

GRADES

Medical Office Assistant Certificate Program Complete
My grades are here!!!!

Medical Terminology 92%

Word Processing 95%

Medical Office Procecdures 95%

Office Management 93%

Transcription 96%

I did it with a little help from my MOA buddies! You ladies are amazing and so freaking funny! Love you girls!

Thanks family for standing behind me and being so understanding!

Love you all!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

THE JOB HUNT

It has been one month since I finished school and one year since I quit work. I had some weird notion that when I finished school that all of these job doors would be opened and I would have to fight off the offers. Well it`s been 30 days and I haven`t had to use my kung-foo moves to fight off employers yet, strange. Why is it that before I took my course the newspapers were full of ads for medical receptionists but now zip, zilch, zero! I must say I haven`t been pounding the pavement as much as I could be but I have been talking to people and sending emails and making phone calls. From what I`ve been hearing, it is definitely who you know when it comes to getting an interview which for me should be a good thing because I know a lot of people but so far nothing. I have one more week of EI left and then I will be at the mercy of Jamie for money, I don`t know if I can handle that, you know the whole mothers guilt thing, Jamie and I are a team and I need to help provide for our family and so on and so forth. He thinks I`m crazy and that I worry too much but that is just who I am. I`m making a plan for job hunting, this week I am going to make some resumes up, some for medical offices, some for regular offices and some for where ever, then next week I am going to hand them out to different places; and hope they don`t chuck them in the garbage while I`m standing there! I wish I had the confidence to walk into an office and just give them my resume and say `you will hire me because I am fantastic`and they would say `Mrs. Britton you rock, we will pay you $$$$$$$$$ and you can work Monday to Thursday 9am-2pm and you can have 6 weeks holidays per year and we love you`. That would be perfect! I live in such a fantasy world, must be all the books I read. Well tomorrow is another day so I must get my beauty sleep so I will be ready when `THE PERFECT`job presents itself! GOOD LUCK Mrs. Britton, please just call me Janice!

Waiting

Do you ever feel like you are always waiting for something? Lately is seems as if I'm having a hard time living in the moment. I guess it's because I'm sort of at a crossroads in my life, you know the whole looking for a job thing. I feel guilty most days because I'm not doing anything really productive, besides the whole laundry thing, YUCK! I know I should be enjoying my time off and using it to do stuff that I really love doing but so far I haven't figured out what that is. For a lot of years I let my job define who I was. Who are you? Well I work for The Bay, I've been there for almost 14 years and it is great fun, I'm also a mom and a wife. Now when I think about who I am it seems there is a piece missing. Who are you? Well I ....................................and I'm also a wife and mom! I keep thinking that as soon as I get a job that little space will be filled and I will be defined again. People ask us what we are doing this summer and I always have to say "well it depends on my work schedule. I'm just WAITING to find out what it is going to be". I'm quite sure I need a job before I get a schedule but it has been a long time since I've actually had one, a job that is. I guess my real problem is I sits and thinks too much! Idle hands and all of that stuff. Thank goodness for my little rascals, they keep my mind busy when they are around and keep me definitely in the moment. I think I need a hobby other than reading and scrabble or maybe I just need to chill out and just have some more fun!! That's what my kids would say, have fun and don't worry about stuff you can't control! FUN, I can do that!

A Change is a Coming!

I`ve decided not to be only

Pudgy!

I`m pudgy! There I said it, the elephant in the room is now being seen, no pun intended. Now that I have acknowledged it what am I going to do about it? Diet, exercise, blah, blah, blah! I get what I need to do but how do I do it in a fun not-boring way? Should I run or go to the gym or take a class or I just don`t know! I`m going to make a list of what I like and don`t like about working out.
LIKES: hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
DISLIKES: sweating, bouncing, getting winded, hurting, making a fool of myself, being alone, being with people, the dark, morning workouts, night workouts.
Ok well that narrows it down tO NOTHING! I don`t like working out at all and I really don`t like giving up chocolate but I also don`t like being pudgy, I refuse to say fat! I need to find something that I can trick myself into thinking is fun and exciting when in reality it is a workout! I have some thinking to do! Any ideas?

CHORE CHART

A chore chart is something I never thought I needed for the kids but yesterday I actually tried to bribe Travis with $5 to clean his room and he turned me down! My kids have a horrible case of the, as the Bernstein Bears say, the gimmie, gimmies. Buy me this, buy me that, I want this, I want that, it`s horrible and embarrassing! So today I made up chore charts and already the beds are made and teeth are brushed! I`m not sure how long this enthusiasm will last but for this morning it is great! I`m not sure how much allowance to pay the little darlings, they have 7 chores plus a bonus spot to earn extra dollars! Is doing chores for an allowance bribery or is it teaching them to be responsible or is it teaching them work = pay? I guess it teaches them a little of all of that. I`m really hoping they will put their money away and save it for something really special but I have a feeling they will want to go shopping as soon as they get that money in their pocket, hmmmm I wonder who that sounds like? ME! Anyhow if today is any indication of what this chore chart is going to help than I don`t really care what they do with their money!! Maybe buy their wonderful mom some flowers? We`ll see.

Is it really over?

No more homework! WOW! It seems like just yesterday I walked into my MOA classroom and almost had a heart attack when I saw all those young girls sitting there ready to make me look old and stupid. Funny how when you look back at things you see them so very differently then when the events actually happen. Those young girls that I was so afraid and envious of are now some of my closest friends. Instead of making me feel stupid, they pushed me to do better and were more than willing to help me when I needed it, especially these last few weeks. I'm a little bit flummoxed right now, happy that school is finally over and I can start my "real life" but sad that I'm not going to have my two nights per week of friend time. I know we will keep up with each other on facebook and meet for the occasional lunch and what not, but it just won't be the same as seeing each other at the door waiting for the teacher and doing our quick daily update. I must say that going back to college was one of the most exciting things I have ever done! As a person with anxiety issues, it was a really huge step for me to go out of my comfort zone, especially the driving to the class and finding parking! LOL. (Those who know me well know that I have major issues with parking). SO now that I am a college graduate again, can we count my Travel Counsellors course? Let's not! SO now that I am a college graduate, I must go out into the world and seek fame and fortune, well maybe not today because I have a huge amount of laundry to do and the dishwasher needs emptying and Travis wants to go to the store and buy yogurt and we play slow pitch tonight and then there is the garage sale at Parkway on Saturday...... Starting next week for sure, I am going out to seek fame and fortune as a Medical Office Assistant, right after I drop the kids off at school!
Cheers to the MOA's of 2010! We did it!!!!

GRADUATING CLASS OF 2010

Christine, Kathleen, Michelle, Stephanie, Sara, Heather, Ashley, Courtney, Elaine, Natalie, Roben and ME!

I am happy!

I have to apologize for my blog's, they've been very negative. I truly am a happy person but I don't need to "vent" about how great everything is, I just accept it. That sounds ridiculous but it is true. I don't feel the need to write about how we got new patio furniture and I really, really love it but I do feel the need to write how I wanted new furniture last year but Jamie said "we don't need new furniture ours is fine" and then a week ago he gets this BRILLIANT idea! Let's get new patio furniture! WOW good one. I also don't feel the need to write about how freaking cute my kids are but I do feel the need to write about how lately they have some sort of motor mouth thing going on where they don't stop talking and talking, even in their sleep! ARRRGGG! I'm going to be more positive in my blogging from now on! Or at least add some positive with the negative to balance it out. I'm off to my big comfy bed to listen to music until I fall asleep. There that was very positive I think! Good start! Goodnight. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Beautiful day!

What an amazingly beautiful day it is outside! Oops I have to go yell at my children right now. Ok I am back. Why is it that on such a beautiful day that my son has to be a huge grouchy bear? I'm trying to be happy and carefree and loving but right now I am yelling like a crazy woman! I guess 6 year olds just don't get that glorious sunny days are for giggling and smiling. I just have to wait 2 more hours to be happy and carefree and loving, that's when daddy comes home! Don't forget to watch GLEE tonight, it's the Madonna episode, I can't wait. CHEERS to the sun and more sunny days to come!

SQUEAKY WHEEL?

"Hello this is the school district calling, we are letting you know that a spot has just opened up in our French program and your name was next on the list. Would you like the spot?" HMMM squeaky wheel getting the grease or is it just an amazing coincidence that we got the spot and I should just let it go and be thankful? I'm generally not a complainer and I rarely get snotty with strangers so I'm a little nervous. Did my complaining really work or was Rebecca's name really next on the list? Is complaining the only way to get what you want? I think I am just going to be happy that Rebecca got into the school she wanted, yes she wanted, and leave it at that! I still think that drawing names out of a hat is horrible and needs to be changed and I will work on that, maybe join a committee or two! WOOHOO!
Congratulations Beautiful Girl! Have fun!

The school system!

So here is my newest dilema. Well as some of you know, this has been going on for some time now. I signed Rebecca up for the French program at KVR, she is a gifted kid who really needs the challenge so we thought this would be excellent for her. I wanted to make sure she got in so I handed in my forms within the first week and sent Jamie to the "mandatory" meeting so that they knew we were excited about this whole French program! Well we come to find out that there were too many kids for the program so that not everyone was going to get in. Thank-goodness we got all of our forms in early so that we would be in for sure! What do we get in the mail the week before spring break? A letter informing us that we have been wait listed! What? We were one of the first people to hand in our forms. It seems that doesn't matter because they don't go by a "first come first serve" basis, get this, they PULL NAMES OUT OF A HAT! I kid you not! They actually pull names out of a hat to determine who will get into the French program! I am speechless, OK not really but seriously, pulling names out of a hat? I was a little disappointed that Rebecca didn't get in but I know she will do well anywhere she goes and I do like Skaha Middle school as well, so that isn't the problem, it's the pulling names out of a hat that has me angry! I called the school district to find out where Rebecca was on the list and how many kids were ahead of her and they were not able to tell me, I am to call back this week and hopefully they will have some information for me! Am I just weird that I think this is nonsense? It's driving me crazy, I've been on boards before and I am quite sure that the practice of pulling names is not the way things should be done! ARRRG! I really do like the school district here, am I just being crazy? Let me know what you think!

This is my first pet peeve I will write about in my new blog! That sounds very professional somehow. My first and biggest pet peeve is..........................MANNERS! Seriously, is it that hard to say "excuse me, please, thank-you, and I'm sorry"? This week I have been out and about a lot more than "normal" and was shocked by how many rude people there are. I have taught my kids right from day 1 that manners must be used at all times, not that they use them all the time but lets face it, they are kids, but adults you have no excuse! Here are my gripes!

1. When you are working with the public please slap a smile on your face! I understand your job probably sucks but I have my own stuff to worry about .
2. When I call someone for information because they are a supposed specialist in the field it's Ok for them to say "I don't know". But it is not Ok for them not to want to find out the answer and get back to me.
3. Show some empathy. Even if sympathy is not your thing you can at least show some empathy, or at least fake it.
4. People have feelings!
5. Please don't swear on facebook, that is just downright rude. To my friends on facebook, if you swear, I will delete you.

Well that is all of my ramblings for right now. It probably makes no sense to anyone but me. I'm strangely Ok with that!

Am I doing this right?

Ok , so I'm trying this blogging thing for the first time! I'm quite excited about it because I have so very much to say! Right now I have to say goodbye because it is time to take the boy to kindergarten! Hope I'm doing this right!