Waiting

Do you ever feel like you are always waiting for something? Lately is seems as if I'm having a hard time living in the moment. I guess it's because I'm sort of at a crossroads in my life, you know the whole looking for a job thing. I feel guilty most days because I'm not doing anything really productive, besides the whole laundry thing, YUCK! I know I should be enjoying my time off and using it to do stuff that I really love doing but so far I haven't figured out what that is. For a lot of years I let my job define who I was. Who are you? Well I work for The Bay, I've been there for almost 14 years and it is great fun, I'm also a mom and a wife. Now when I think about who I am it seems there is a piece missing. Who are you? Well I ....................................and I'm also a wife and mom! I keep thinking that as soon as I get a job that little space will be filled and I will be defined again. People ask us what we are doing this summer and I always have to say "well it depends on my work schedule. I'm just WAITING to find out what it is going to be". I'm quite sure I need a job before I get a schedule but it has been a long time since I've actually had one, a job that is. I guess my real problem is I sits and thinks too much! Idle hands and all of that stuff. Thank goodness for my little rascals, they keep my mind busy when they are around and keep me definitely in the moment. I think I need a hobby other than reading and scrabble or maybe I just need to chill out and just have some more fun!! That's what my kids would say, have fun and don't worry about stuff you can't control! FUN, I can do that!